We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
