After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
