put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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