if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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