You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
