There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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