i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
