I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
