So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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