I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
