some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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