Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
