dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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