VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
