First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
