please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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