why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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