Buhtt sex?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
