I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
