i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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