Whatcha textin bout Willis?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
