I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
