but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
