why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
third nipple confirmed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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