we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He felt like a one man threesome
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
