need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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