question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
well you can't waste a boner
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
