Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
