Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
