Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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