i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
