Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
