i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
