I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
