I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
