you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
