i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
