he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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