yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
