i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
