Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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