she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
