That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
