Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
