how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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