dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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