Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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