They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
