He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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