Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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