Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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