Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
