So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
