Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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