Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
