I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
